The good fight is over.

So, it's finally all over, the last few days have been surreal going to the hospital every day- It's amazing how Victor has been so up and down, one minute on death's door semi conscious, then the  next chatting again... it seemed he was fine when we were there then in the small hours he would deteriorate. Finally the doctors said he wasn't improving and they had to make a decision which they struggled with and I said best to ask V if he wants to let go which he said he did by squeezing Camille's hand -
It was just a matter of waiting it could have been a few days but I think once he knew that they had accepted his letting go he didn't fight anymore...

So that night I was sitting in Mcdonalds in Kentish town past midnight and Yolande called, I thought she's probably bored in the ward, but no, it was to say that V had had his last breath and he had passed!

 Thinking back last night I  realised as I cycled to hospital the first day I had detached myself from Victor all the years I knew him, in 20 years I didn't give him any affection although I was fond of him...odd.. but I did hold his hand a bit in hospital, and kissed him on the head the second day when he was alert and seemed to be getting better, also when I left Saturday night knowing I may not see him again, he was semi conscious then or maybe asleep, as he didn't respond. ..it's easier for them now having spent literally 5 days at the hospital taking it in turns also he was comfortable and had his dignity as Yolande said Cami had his first day at Guildhall Uni tomorrow he promised Vic he would carry on as normal as did Yolande.
Another post I didn't publish! Written in 2014! Do I think so little of my writing ? Yes maybe it is boring for people but I may as well put it out there nothing to lose eh!!